After the Meadow
by EclipsedxLucy
Summary: I loved Stephenie Meyer's "Midnight Sun" and Alphie's "The Lion and the Lamb." Edward's PoV is captivating! With no ownership of Ms. Meyer's characters, I had to try my hand to see what happened after Bella and Edward's day in the meadow.
1. Chapter 1

I quietly hummed Bella's lullaby into her hair and felt her unwind. Gradually her breath became rhythmic, a cadence that I recognized as sleep overtaking her. To be able to finally hold her in my arms as she slept was a previously unknown joy. Today had surpassed anything I'd imagined and I was grateful for this uninterrupted time to reflect and replay the events of our first day together.

I started the day vacillating between what was right, which as to keep Bella safely at a distance, and what every fiber of my being wanted, which was to keep her beside me at all costs. I had been so unsure of my control over my thirst for her, even though I was fully sated from hunting with Alice the night before. Alice's visions had continually flipped through her mind during our hunt, playing the two fates she envisioned for Bella. Bella drained and lifeless from my blood thirst or Bella red-eyed and cold-bodied; both visions accomplished by my own hand. Alice apologized for not being able to censor her mind and tried to concentrate on happier imaginings, but there was no doubt that she saw either of these outcomes as true probabilities. I hadn't given up on finding a third solution; my sole goal to keep Bella alive and human, with me or without me. In the end, it was Alice who convinced me that I could overcome the deadly draw of Bella's blood, more compelling to me than any other, and allow my human feelings to surface. She saw the positives of my loving Bella and I realized that Alice's affection for Bella was deepening, too. Two vampires selfishly wanting to keep Bella alive had to be better than one. The irony of it all was not lost on either of us.

By the time I got to her house I had again talked myself out of taking her with me, but still felt pulled to the door by some invisible force. I told myself that I was going to be a gentleman and cancel our outing in person, not do it by telephone, which seemed cowardly. I knocked softly and heard Bella tripping down the stairs and fumbling with the door knob. One look at her and I regretted my decision not to phone; to walk away from her now would be painful. She held her breath as she studied my countenance, then became serene. She had faith in me, even if I didn't. I looked at our garb - we matched, we were on the same page for this adventure - and I had to laugh. That took the immediate edge off my misgivings and we climbed into her truck.

We started out agreeably enough. Her driving was atrocious, but it was nice to get to sit next to her and openly watch her lips move as she spoke. I thought my nerves would dissipate once I became used to her scent again, but I grew increasingly impatient as we continued our snail's pace out of town. I tried to quell my anxiety by taking gibes at the decrepit truck. Bella ignored my irritability and persevered. It didn't help my mood that she hadn't taken any safety precautions, hadn't told anyone about our plans to be together. Her backwards logic was trying to keep me out of trouble should our day have a bitter end. I tried to calm myself with more small talk, but really I wished that I had insisted on driving. Having something to do would have given me a greater feeling of power. I was always better when I was in charge. Today would test all of my self-control and I was futilely searching for how I would meet the challenges before me.

I could feel her trembling when we got out of the truck. Bella was no doubt afraid of where my surly demeanor could lead, but attributed her dismay to her poor hiking abilities. She bravely cast aside my open-ended offer to take her home, more a directive to myself than her, and recommitted to the hike. Ashamed of myself and grateful that I wouldn't have to be parted from her, I promised to be patient during the trek. It was very slow going; she and her truck seemed to have the same motor skills. Her heart raced, though, each time I helped her over a fallen tree. With fear? I didn't know. I felt an electric jolt whenever she looked at me with those liquid brown eyes. It made me faintly recall what it was like to have my pulse rush when I was human. Her trust in me was implicit and I wanted to deserve it. Just being with her helped me master my baser instincts.

Bella in the meadow's sunshine was stunning. I held to the shadows and watched as she absorbed the sun, watched as her hair color turned from chestnut to mahogany. The sun seemed to emit an aura around her. This must be how she was in her native Phoenix, more vivid than I'd ever seen her before. Then she turned to find me. It was time to keep another promise, to show her my sunlit persona. What if I terrified her? How was I going to get her home if she went beyond terrified? She motioned me toward her. I took a step into the sun's rays, keeping my eyes fixed on her. A few more steps. I could hear her heart drumming, her eyes open wide, but then she steadied. She nodded and I went to stand next to her. We didn't touch, I didn't want to startle her while her mesmerized face took in my skin's diamond prisms. She wasn't running from me, I didn't frighten her. Neither of us had words for this. When she smiled, we both sat on the moist grass. I lay back, closed my eyes and relaxed, silently rejoicing at Bella's acceptance.

The touch of Bella's fingertips upon my hand and arm captured my attention like no other sensation I ever experienced. What had I done to deserve such bliss? Keeping my hand in hers I sat up, needing to hear what was going on in her mind, too. The only creature on the planet with thoughts I craved was mute to me. What was she thinking that would allow her to be so near to me, let alone touch me?


	2. Chapter 2

Bella stirred in the bed, distracting me from my reverie, bringing me back to the present. She stretched her legs out of their curled position and rolled onto her back. I slid my arm out from under her and propped myself up on my elbow so I could gaze at her face. My favorite part of the night was about to begin.

"Meadow … Edward … beautiful," she murmured. Ah, she was dreaming of our day in the beautiful meadow. I liked how she said my name as an endearment. I slowly inhaled her light breath, pausing to capture this moment with so many others that were swirling in my mind. The harsh flame escalating down my throat was a small penance for the privilege of being enveloped in her sweet scent. Then I remembered how the intermingling of our breath earlier had prompted me to become deadly.

We were sitting in the grass, closer than ever before, when Bella suddenly leaned her face into mine, lured by my fragrance. The blood flowing in her translucent neck and her scent hit me with such a force that all my predatory instincts engulfed me. A small part of my rational brain prevailed for a split second, allowing me to dart to the other side of the meadow before Bella could comprehend what she had just escaped. Alice's first vision of Bella and me in the meadow, the vision of a lifeless Bella, replayed in my mind and then _vanished_. Until then I hadn't trusted myself to overcome my thirst, but the fact that I _had_ acted, that I _was _strong enough, made that vision an impossibility. I would always burn for her blood, but now I knew I wanted _her _more.

Bella's adrenaline spike made me aware that she knew how perilous our situation was. I tried to make my tone soothing as I slowly returned to her, but then, secure in the understanding that I truly had control of my thirst, I put on quite a demonstration of my monster prowess. She had to be made to see the demon that I was. Then she could make an informed choice. No more hiding myself from Bella.

I shocked her, I scared her, just as I meant to do. Then remorse washed through me. This priceless girl was in my care and this is how I treated her? I loved her and desperately wanted to get past this ugly episode, back to being close to her. She willingly took my hand back in hers, letting me know that I was forgiven. It was then that all of my defenses gave way. I confessed all my transgressions from our first encounter in biology class to my misguided efforts to distance myself and my feelings from her. There weren't words for the emotions she wrought in me; I had never talked of love before. And she confessed her feelings for me. While she couldn't care for me to the depths that I cared for her, her declarations rang true.

She let me caress her face and lay my cheek above her breast to listen to her heart. Her heart became my heart, it would beat for both of us. She seemed to have the same longing to touch my face, too. The afternoon waned with Bella cradled against me, in my arms.

I was reluctant to leave, to reenter the real world, but we were quickly running out of daylight. Hiking back to the truck would take too much time and I knew a more fun way of traveling. With Bella firmly clamped on my back I ran the five miles in just a few minutes. I was almost light-headed at the thought of being able to carry Bella this way. Bella, however, was light-headed for a different reason. She was faint from the unexpected speed and took a while to recover. The color returning to her delicate cheeks gave me courage to act on an idea that I had for been wishing for, but afraid to try. Bella became silent and still as I deliberated how to do this. I leaned my face into hers. I could feel her anticipation, not fear, as I gently kissed her.

When would I learn that Bella never reacted as I expected? Our first kiss, which I hoped would be tender and lingering, made her clutch at me fiercely. I didn't know where this kind of kiss would take me, or her, so I locked down all of my reflexes and moved Bella slightly away. I didn't trust myself to move us another inch. It took all of my efforts to collect my wits and I became ecstatic when I successfully subdued both immortal and human hunger. I knew I wanted to kiss her again, soon, but perhaps it should be better planned.

I drove home. Bella balked at first, but I used my power to dazzle her and she gave in. It seemed only fair, she had been dazzling me all day. With her hand in mine I contentedly sang along to the radio as the sun set. My knowledge of musical styles prompted Bella to question my past. She accepted the actuality of my age better than I thought but that led her to ask more questions about my human family and my transformation to this life. I carefully avoided the specifics of how Carlisle saved me, trying to focus Bella on the reasons for our family's bond. Alice's second vision still loomed ominously. I would need to keep Bella oblivious to the details of _that_. I was grateful when we arrived at her house and her stomach rumbled. We needed a diversion. I boldly invited myself in.


	3. Chapter 3

Having only watched Bella in the kitchen from outside her home, it was nice to be able to finally sit at the table while she prepared her dinner. I'd often imagined us this way, being mundanely domestic, chatting with each other the way other couples might do at the end of the day. I let my mind drift. I pictured us tidying up after dinner, she washing, me drying the dishes, then moving to the living room to watch television, cozy in our own little house. Was this the kind of future Bella and I could have? Would she want that for us? _Fool, stop your aberrations_, I chided myself, returning to reality. She didn't seem too upset, though, when I disclosed my nightly visits. That is, until I divulged my obsession with her sleep-talking, which embarrassed her deeply. It felt good to comfort her in my arms, to atone for my knavish behavior.

Charlie's arrival ended our tableau. I disappeared to Bella's room. It wasn't the time for Charlie to find out that Bella had a boyfriend, if that was my description. But, if we were going to be together, both of our families would have to accept us.

I chuckled at Bella's voice as she conversed with Charlie. It had a frantic edge to it that Charlie picked up on, too. I inferred from the tone of his thoughts that he was worried about her not going to the dance. He wanted Bella to be happy, to have friends. However, his suggestion that she become friendlier with Mike Newton made me livid. I may not be any father's first choice for their daughter but there was no way Charlie would want him around her if he could hear Newton's toxic thoughts.

Charlie's concern grew to suspicion as Bella said a hurried goodnight. He wanted to trust her but his paternal sixth sense told him that she was too animated for the sleep she spoke of. Something was up. It was way too early for her to be asleep, yet not too early for her to sneak out for some secret tryst. Charlie was a smart man, but it never occurred to him that Bella's interest was already lounging on her bed.

I liked how comfortable it felt to be in Bella's room, now that she knew I visited. Bella's feigned tiredness as she trudged up the stairs greatly amused me. She was so bad at subterfuge. I had to suppress my laughter when she opened the window to call for me, and contain it even more when I answered her from the bed. I chuckled at her leaping heart. I couldn't read her mind, but it wasn't hard to guess her thoughts about us sitting together on her bed. She excused herself for what she called a "human minute" to shower, than went downstairs to reinforce her goodnight to a surprised Charlie. I could tell he wasn't buying her charade and I wondered if she thought she'd convinced him of her sleepiness. It seemed to be a game they played with each other.

It was lovely to have her back with me. The aroma of shampoo on her damp hair mingled enticingly with her natural floral fragrance. Even her tatty nightwear was alluring. My hands and lips couldn't keep away. I told myself, being a practical man, that touching her was necessary to overcoming my thirst. I knew my reasoning was bogus. That she responded to my touches was amazing. We marveled at our attraction to each other. And, of course, Bella had a few hundred questions about it.

It was a relief to unfold the story of my love for her. My denial, jealousy, then acceptance of my plight aroused her sympathy. She actually thought she had the easier path, as if she wasn't jeopardizing her life to be with me. If I hadn't been so high, overtaken by the newness of being so unguarded with Bella, I would have given in to the tragedy of our impossible love. All of her questions led to more descriptions of my family. She never said the word vampire. She spoke of my kind as if we were from another country, a family with a different culture she wanted to understand. How did this girl's head work? How was she rationalizing all of this?

Then she asked about Emmett and Rosalie's marriage, did they share the same intimacies as married humans? Too surprised not to laugh, one had only be around them for a short time to be aware of their physicality, I gave her an honest answer. Her next question stalled in her mind as she edited. Something made her reluctant to ask it. I prodded her, unable to get the gist of her inquiry, and she reddened all the way down her neck. Finally, she asked me outright about our own romantic capabilities. That she had thought about this at all dumbfounded me. I gave her the straightforward answer, again the practical man, but it wasn't the one I wanted to give. She fell asleep in my arms, leaving me with all the questions.


	4. Chapter 4

I didn't have any idea how to deal with the physical aspect of our romance. Bella had asked me twice if I was attracted to her. How could she be in doubt? I couldn't keep my thoughts, my eyes, and now that I was touching her, my hands away from her. But what were our limits? My life before Bella was clinical and detached, safe from erratic behavior. Now I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I had already broken so many of my self-imposed rules. What new rules was I going to make, then void?

I couldn't deny that I liked that Bella was attracted to me, too. She had first touched me in the restaurant , touched me again in the meadow, showed me how she wanted to be held, and responded violently to our first kiss. Bella, thankfully as inexperienced as I, was a willing partner in our ardor. Did she fantasize about us the way I heard in the minds of other teenage girls? Unbelievable … yet, maybe. I also knew the graphic scenes that played in the minds of teenage boys at the high school and seethed at the picture of Bella in those fantasies. Bella deserved better than that.

I knew nothing about passion between a man and a woman. I was well schooled in the mechanics of sex, but it was all textbook, not personal experience. Though I tried to give them privacy, I knew the desires of the uniquely paired couples in my family. Desires, that when played out, confirmed their commitment to each other. I finally understood how a man's ironclad will could be overcome by passion. Whenever Bella entered my thoughts the strangest sensations overwhelmed me. As she was all I could think about, the sensations hit me in continuous waves. The memory of Bella wearing her blue blouse, the soft fabric clinging to her feminine curves, or her teeth biting her lower lip created chaos within me. Our first tentative intimacies promised unknown future delights. Each new touch made me crave more. What _were_ our limits? I would be insane to think we didn't have them. She didn't comprehend how fragile she was, how I had to restrain my smallest movements, that I could inadvertently kill her with a hasty gesture. Harming Bella while loving her was my ultimate fear.

Plus, there was my upbringing. The early 1900 morals ingrained in me when I was human were brought with me to my immortal life. I didn't want our love to be muddied by the morals of current times, with teasing attire and provocative petting. I would let my old-fashioned virtues set our boundaries. Kisses and caresses, already proven safe, would be our limits. Bella was an innocent and would remain that way, no exceptions. No matter how greatly I was tempted.

Bella's rapid breathing diverted my romance dilemma. Her lashes fluttered on her cheeks and her pulse increased as she became more active in her dream. How frustrating it was not to hear what she was thinking, to join her in her dreams.

"Kissing Edward … again," She sighed and her face suddenly became shy. Was she blushing in her sleep?

"I love you," Bella whispered. I looked around the room to where the sound of those three words must be ricocheting, bursting again and again like bright explosions of confetti sparkles. I didn't see anything tangible - the fireworks must be inside me. I was spinning with jubilation, in gut-wrenching awe at what three words could do to me. Bella's first "I love you" lifted me to a level of happiness no man or immortal could ever have experienced.

"As I love you," was my silent answer.


	5. Chapter 5

I was still giddy with excitement when Bella fell into a deeper sleep. I kissed her hair and slipped from her bed to the window. I needed to run, to fly, to do something physical to match what was going on inside me. I ran through the forest taking in the heavy air, prelude to a big storm that was brewing. I didn't know my destination until I arrived home. I could see Alice impatiently prancing on the porch steps.

_Jasper and Emmett are waiting for you. They bet if you would bring Bella back. I haven't told them, but your face will say it all._

I just rolled my eyes at Alice, still too euphoric to be peeved that my brothers would trivialize something so important to me. I entered the house with Alice at my heels. I could hear Rosalie and Esme pause from their upstairs activity to catch my mood. Carlisle, in his office, sent me a silent _"Ah, well done, son," _after his assessment.

Emmett and Jasper peered from the recesses of the couch. After both examined me, Jasper gave out a gleeful "hah" and punched Emmett's bicep.

"I win, Bella's alive, and I'm picking our next hunting site," he gloated to Emmett.

"No fair, you've got Alice in cahoots with you," grumbled Emmett back.

"If you'll remember, Emmett, I also saw another vision for Bella today. Edward came close, but that vision doesn't exist anymore," Alice retorted. "I thought you would be strong enough, didn't I?" She smiled smugly at me. "Do I get to play with Bella, too? I promise to behave." Her laugh was as happy as mine. I was elated to give her what she wanted.

"Yes, I'm going to bring her here in the morning, that is, if she wants to meet all of you," I amended, leaving the choice to Bella. "You are _all_ on notice to be on your best behavior, please." I gave Jasper a meaningful glare, which he answered with a salute. Rosalie's angry hiss traveled down the staircase.

"Guess it'll be a good day to take Rose's car out on the open road. A Sunday drive, so to speak," grinned Emmett. "Aw, baby, you said you wanted to test your car after all the work you did on it today," was Emmett's answer to Rosalie's guttural protests. He shrugged, mentally muttered _"women_" to me, and went to appease Rosalie. It was clear that Emmett felt that I had joined him as a comrade in the confusing world of feminine logic.

_Can we talk for a minute? _asked Esme, as she descended the stairs. It caught me off-guard, as Esme requested so few things from me. I wanted to change my clothes and get back to Bella, but allowed Esme to take my hand and lead me back to the front porch steps. We sat facing the lawn, she one step above me, so that she could put her arm around my shoulders. I was curious, but not apprehensive, as I waited for her to continue.

_Tell me about Bella, _was her only thought. The floodgate inside me burst open.

"I don't know where to begin. I'm stunned at how quickly she's become the pivot point of my life. People don't see her clearly, and I really like it that I do. I'm overcome by her beauty, her face is all I can see. There's something ethereal about her, yet she's charmingly uncoordinated, even for a human. She's intelligent, mature beyond her years and doesn't like to be coddled. She has an inner kindness and can observe without judging, but calls me on my perceptions when she thinks I'm wrong. She can be irritatingly stubborn, her sense of survival is severely distorted, and yet she's really brave. She comprehends the danger of being with me, but trusts me for reasons I can't fathom. I'm captivated by her little nuances, want to know her every thought. She wants to know me, too. She jokes about our differences! And I can't help but laugh when I'm with her. She's truly a good person to her core, my own personal miracle.

"Esme, she said she loves me! Can you believe that? Those little words have caused me to become a whole different creature; I don't want to go back to being who I was. I kissed her and she kissed me back, another miracle. I'm so attracted to her, but fear shattering her. How do I keep her safe, when I'm the most treacherous thing in her life? And I'm so greedy. I know I'm delaying her real future, that I should leave her alone, but staying away from her will break me. I'm over a century old, but haven't had any experience in romantic love, let alone love with all of our complications. I'm so inept."

_Edward, there's a glow about you now that you've found Bella. I've been afraid, that having been changed so young, you would never know the joy of having your life bound to another's. That she returns your love doesn't surprise me. I'm guessing that Bella is able to look beyond the complications and see to your core, too. She sees the truth and beauty of your character, just as we do. Yes, you've lived over a century, but your heart is that of a seventeen year old, just the same as Bella's. You both deserve love, no matter the obstacles._

_You love her, Alice loves her, and now I love her, too. Go back to Bella and begin your life together. We'll welcome her when you're ready._

I looked into Esme's eyes and saw her yearning for my happiness. A hazy memory of my human mother looking at me the same way floated into my consciousness. I squeezed the hand on my shoulder, touched my lips to her cheek, then pulled us both up. I said a mental prayer of thanks for the undeserved gift of two devoted mothers as Esme and I walked arm in arm through the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Racing back to Bella was exhilarating, but I was quickly subdued once I was through her window and her scent hit me. The beast inside me fought for control so I took my usual seat in the rocking chair. _Mind over matter_, I chanted. It took me less time than I thought it would to tame the beast. After a while I moved about the room, giving myself permission to examine her books, her music and her trinkets that lay about. Each thing delighted me because it confirmed so much of what I already knew about her. I was surprised by some things, but still pleased because I could now ask her about them. My impulse was to lie down beside her and hold her again, but I didn't want to disturb her sleep. I would need to become more mindful of her human needs. I straightened her quilt and went back to the rocker.

I pulled the juice bottle cap from my pocket and toyed with it, reliving the thrill I felt when she agreed to spend today with me. The cap was always with me, a talisman of Bella's first "yes" to me. I fiddled with it now to ebb my eagerness as she began to awaken. She flung her arm over her face, then rolled to her side with a small moan. Would she remember that I would be here? What did that moan mean? Perhaps I should keep my distance until I was sure of her reaction to my presence. What if she regretted having me here, what if her "yes" turned to "no." My anticipation became anxiety, and I put the bottle cap back in my pocket. Bella's eyes opened and she sat straight up, as if jerked by strings. I would have smiled if I wasn't trying to be cautious.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she found me.

"Your hair looks like a haystack … but I like it." _Keep it light until she's fully awake_, I warned myself.

"Edward! You stayed!" Then she did the most unexpected thing, even for Bella. She flew across the room and landed in my lap. We both froze for a small moment, which made me laugh, thrilled at her exuberance, her renewed acceptance of me. We sat entwined in the rocker, getting our bearings. Sleep hadn't worn off of her and it was wonderful to cuddle her warm body.

"Charlie!" Saying his name made her jump up, spin towards the door. I couldn't remember her ever being so bouncy in the morning. I explained that Charlie had checked on her before leaving with his fishing tackle, his suspicions of his daughter's antics unfounded, no matter how correct his intuition. I held my arms out to Bella to invite her back. I didn't like the empty feeling, but had to acquiesce to her request for a human moment. I seemed to be having a harder time acclimating to the necessities of her world than she was to mine. I could hear her splashing water, which made me grin at the noisy little human she was. _My_ noisy little human. I held my arms back out to her when she entered the room.

"Welcome back," my voice husky with emotion. She settled into my lap and I molded myself around her. I wanted to hold her like this forever, keep her secure in my embrace, or carry her where she needed to go, never letting her touch the ground.

"You left?" Bella patted my shirt as she searched my eyes. I hadn't thought that part through, that I had said I would stay. Did she think me untrustworthy? Then I remembered the words that caused my flight.

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything. The talking came earlier." _Bella, I adore watching you sleep._

"What did you hear?" Trepidation in her voice. _Bella, don't you remember the words that forever altered my existence?_

"You said you loved me." _Bella, please say you meant it._

"You knew that already." I could feel the heat rise on her complexion. Was she embarrassed to have said it out loud, even asleep?

"It was nice to hear, just the same." _Bella, please say it again_.

"I love you," she said quietly, as she melted into me. The fireworks lit inside me again. I wanted nothing more than what I had at this moment; my heart's desire fulfilled.

"You are my life now," sealed my vow.


End file.
